I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
