dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
