Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
