Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
