Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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