Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.

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(585): View more from New York

Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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(540): View more from Virginia

he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck

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(636): View more from Missouri

No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....

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(712): View more from Iowa

He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.

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(928): View more from Arizona

i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.

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