I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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