I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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