Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
