I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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