I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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