Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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