I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
