I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
