you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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