the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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