I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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