Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
