Buhtt sex?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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