Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im part way to drunk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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