i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
