Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
