i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
only if we run a train.
done.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
