so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
