it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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