Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
