eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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