We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
