He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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