i would punch a child for taco bell
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my being single is dangerous.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
