we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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