Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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