the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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