I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
