11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When are your genitals available?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
