I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
