Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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