Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think your dad took our porno
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have already put on my inside pants.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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