their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
