i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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