don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
