i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
