My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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