Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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