You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
