I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
