I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
