I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
