I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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