he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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